As We Stumble Along

Life is so different outside of Brandeis. Not really in a bad way or a good way. I mean, a part of me is utterly weirded out that I'm not there right now. But a larger part of me knows that I was done with it, and that it's a part of my life that is over, and that that's okay. 

It's just that life seems so much more bland. It's probably a characteristic of most people's college experiences, but I certainly found that my highs were so much higher there (and as a result, my lows were lower, too). But I was non-stop busy and always moving and there was always something to do next. I'm still doing a lot at home -- working at the franklin takes up 5 days a week, plus the Hebrew school thing, plus dealing with going back and forth between Mona and Bubbie Ethel . . . but it's not like I'm always stressed about the next thing. It's definitely nice to have less stress, and to be able to read for fun is glorious (the hour commute on the train each way ensures that reading happens). I just feel like my sense of direction is a bit off, like I'm pointing NNE when I should be just going north. When I'm not surrounded by amazing, driven crazy-intense Brandeis people all the time, it's much more difficult to maintain my drive. 

I'm not unhappy, and I like my job, and I enjoy the day-to-day of my life, but it's just not as rich and multilayered and ridiculous and intense as Brandeis was. 

In related news, I went to CVS to pick something up and was very sad that I wasn't purchasing school supplies. I love fresh notebooks and pens and the feeling of possibility at the beginning of the school year.